Thanks to those who offered condolences on Lilly's passing. I'm sorry I couldn't respond in turn, but it helps to know that people were thinking about me. Thanks.

Incredibly busy at work, with JHACO survey coming and two mock surveys just recently. So needless to say all the management is in a panic, myself included.

Still trying to find a permanent place to live. I'm in a short term rental, hence no computer, hence my incommunicado status as of late.

I have a home inspection for the house I'm trying to buy on Monday. We'll see what they come up with for problems and whether I can afford to fix them. It's a nice house in a decent neighborhood, but it is an older home, so who knows.

Computer time is up. So long 'till next time.

I put my Lily to sleep last night.
I had her since I was 11 years old.
I know I'm an atheist, but can I at least believe in doggy heaven. Please? Just so I don't have to know she's really gone?
Going up to Berlin for the weekend. I need to get out of here.

So that's what the sun looks like. I'd forgotten.
Ah warm weather how I've missed thee.
Summer! Beaches! Swimming!

*Laurel thinks about swimsuit shopping*
...
...
...
*shudder*
There's that chill again.

*yawn*

*stretch*

*headdesk*

Still looking for a place to live. Found a nice condo in the Rockport area. The mother thinks the condo is a bad idea. She wants me to live in Lynn. She scary thing is she's actually been to Lynn and still wants her only daughter to live there. Wierd, huh? I think the mother is a bad idea sometimes.

I know there are nice parts of lynn, but it's just a little too urban for me (read: ghetto). The mother has a point, though; my money goes a hell of a lot further in Lynn. But Lynn is just so ... well ... Lynn-ish. I want to be on Cape Ann, even if it means I get stuck in a dinky condo.

Job is still work, dogs are still dog-ish, still haven't beat Tales of the Abyss, and any BL fan who hasn't read Wild Adapter should go out and buy a copy RIGHT F****ING NOW because Kazuya Minekura is my queen of deliciously subtle gayness.

Been out of work since Tuesday of last week with bronchitis and a sinus infection. My head still feels like its been stuffed with cotton balls that someone dipped in tabasco sauce and then set of fire. On the bright side, I get to go back to work tomorrow [read: sarcasm].

Well, I am a manager now. I don't think I posted since I got this job. It's pretty evil, and I can find very few redeeming qualities to the position, other than not having to work weekends.

Still looking for a place to live, mostly looking at cheap condos and such, but if I don't find anything I really like, I'll just rent again.

Going to see the Chieftains at symphony hall this week, am loking forward to that. And Jimmy Buffett tickets go on sale Monday. This time I'm springing for the expensive seats.

Posting from work. I hate the weekends here, but at least there is usually more down time. And after the way this place has been lately down time is worth it's weight in gold.
I've applied for a manager's position at my current facility which I don't think I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting. The only reason I want it is that it might get me to an easier wing, and it would give me weekends off, so I could start taking classes again.

The problem with managing, as opposed to just being a line nurse, is that it's not enough for you to take care of your patients well, but you have to manage people who have no desire to take care of their patient's well ... or sometimes at all. I've never been good at dealing with laziness and insubordination in those below me. How can you make another person do something when you don't really have the power to threaten them with serious discipline (i.e. suspension and termination).

I realize now how spoiled I was by the LNA's back in Berlin. Most of them were hard working and followed instructions, but yet cared enough about their patients to respectfully disagree with bad instructions.

This job, which for a while was improving, is wearing me down. I get up at 5am to get to work at 630am, I'm supposed to get out at 3pm, but secondary to the fact that nobody here understands the concept of getting to work on time, all last week I got out consistently at 5 in the evening. And I have to get home, take care of dogs, food, shopping and household stuff to get to bed between 8 and 9.

Speaking of dogs, I'm now giving my old geezer Lilly subcutaneous infusions of lactated ringers twice a day, along with liquid antibiotics twice a day. Took her to the vet expecting to hear that she needed to be put down, and he tells us that she is dehydrated and has a bladder infection. The first SQ infusion was easy. But now she's starting to get her pep back as has realized "Damn! They're poking me with a giant needle! I better squirm and bark my head off." But I think she's feeling better, and she's certainly eating better, which is great.

I took my uncle in for a cardioversion at BIDMC on my last day off, which they ended up not doing. Afterwards I took a trip into Harvard Square and spent some of that overtime money I've been earning. Got the Evangelion art book and the Final Fantasy 5 and 6 sountracks. I shop at Tokyo Kid so much they're starting to give me a discount. And tomorrow I'm going bra shopping to buy bras for the new, thinner me.

Even though I have been kind of absent from eljay lately, I would like to wish all my f-list very happy holidays, whatever your holiday of choice may be. You're all wonderful.

Luv and hugs,
Nagi

It's been a super-busy couple of weeks.

My job has been alternating from tolerable to horrible. I can see why they have such a high turnover rate in the unit I work in. Besides the crappy working conditions and staff conflicts, time-off is nearly impossible to get. This is apparently why they pay so well: it's the only way they can get anyone to work there. I've been sick for the last week, but can't afford to go the to doctor because my health insurance hasn't kicked in yet. Neither has my sick time.

My uncle is back in the hospital after having a pacemaker put in a couple weeks ago. His blood pressure and pulse keep skyrocketing and they can't figure out why. He's (naturally) worried and stressed about that. The problem is my uncle doesn't handle worry and stress well. He expresses it through frequent angry outbursts at whoever's nearby. And I'm nearby.

My older dog's decline into senility and decrepitude continues. She's blind, her eating is poor and her quality of life is nil. I love her, but it is past time to put her down. My mother doesn't want to address it until after the holidays are over for fear of "bad associations." She's been as much my mother's dog as mine, so I want to respect her wishes, but it's getting harder to bear.

Christmas is a high-stress time for me anyway. Getting gifts for people I care about is not the problem - it's all those obligatory gifts and cards, usually for co-workers and acquaintances. And then there are the gifts you have to get for people who, unexpectedly and inexplicably, got you something so now you have to reciprocate in kind.

Not to mention we keep getting slammed with nor'easters. If the frozen snowbank in front of my house gets any higher I'm gonna have to buy mountaineering equipment.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4-7 sentences on your LJ along with these instructions.
5.Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest (unless it's too troublesome to reach and is really heavy. Then go back to step 1).
6. Tag five people.

From Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez:

She left it on the night table, for the truth was she did not know what to do with it, and there it stayed, unopened, for several days, until one rainy afternoon when Fermina Daza dreamed that Juvenal Urbino had returned to the house to give her the tongue depressor he had used to examine her throat. In her dream the tongue depressor was not made of aluminum but of a delicious metal that she had tasted with pleasure in other dreams, so that she broke it in two unequal pieces and gave him the smaller one.

When she awoke, she opened the letter. It was brief and proper, and all that Juvenal Urbino asked was permission to request her father's permission to visit her. She was impressed by its simplicity and seriousness, and the rage she had cultivated with so much love for so many days faded away on the spot. She kept the letter in the bottom of her trunk , but she remembered that she had also kept Florentino Ariza's perfumed letters there, and she took it out of the chest to find another place for it, shaken by a rush of shame.

*tag*
You're it.

... this day is over.
Volunteering to work Thanksgiving = temporary insanity on my part.
I swear all the patients were hopped up on speed or something. And they didn't share with me. How selfish.

I never knew Wikipedia was so handy. You can even look up all the exit numbers for I-93. Very useful when making directions for someone.
My uncle gets out of the hospital tomorrow. Everything went fine. I have the dubious pleasure of picking him up. Yay me.

Work is gradually getting better. My biggest goal now is to try and get out on time consistently and to not kill the 3-11 nurse I report off to. I don't know why, but she really doesn't like me. I'm told by some of the other staff that that's just her personality. Some people don't like anyone. I think she just has a very low tolerance for my rookie mistakes. But she can bite me. We all have to learn somewhere.

My uncle is going into the hospital tomorrow for a cardioversion and a pacemaker insertion. Being a man, of course he can't just admit that he's scared out of his wits about it (which he is). Instead he just goes into a fit of manly anger at the drop of a hat, venting to anyone nearby. In this respect, I think women have an easier lot. It's at least socially acceptable for us to cry and freak out and be scared. And who wouldn't be scared that their heart is basically going to be electrocuted for therapeutic reasons and then have wires poked into it. That being said, they're both fairly routine procedures.

I have company this weekend too, which is going to be tricky balancing my family obligations with my social ones, but I'll make it work. I'm just psyched to be having company, even considering the timing. It's still pretty lonely down here. Planning on going into the North End and introducing Darci to a Mike's Pastry cannoli in its natural habitat. We'll be close to the BI too, if they decide to release my uncle. If the two of us have to take a detour to pick him up at the hospital, oh well. Darci says she doesn't mind, and my uncle will have two nurses to escort him home.

Went into Boston this afternoon, since I got gypped out of my Sunday. Went to NEAQ, gawked at the sea turtles and penguins. Bought a couple of books in the gift shop. One of them I started reading on the train ride home, The Life of Pi. It's really fantastic so far. Been totally sucked in. I'm typing fast so I can read some more before I have to go to bed. The other one is nonfiction on the decline of the New England fishing industry. I also went to see Deep Sea 3D at the IMAX for the second time. That's an awesome film. 3D has come a long way since I was a kid. You just haven't lived until you've had a giant jellyfish hurtling towards your face.

Barely had enough time to race down to Harvard Square to pick up the latest Love Mode before catching the train back. I'm a little disappointed that they didn't have the latest Kizuna. Probably'll have to order it. I wish someone could tell me when Paprika is coming out on DVD.

There was some fine eye candy on the subway back to North Station too. The guys in Boston are so much nicer to look at than the guys back in Berlin were. Plus, being sandwiched between a couple of them on an overcrowded subway car: fantastic!

Turns out work screwed up my schedule and told me I was working the weekend opposite of what I'm actually working. So I have to work tomorrow instead of going out and having fun like I planned. Totally not complaining, though. This is the weekend schedule I originally wanted, so I'm psyched. Now I'm back on the same weekend as my friends.
Score one for my social life.

Maybe all I needed at work was for everyone to get out of my face and let me do it my way. I did my first day on my own (which I guess means I'm officially off orientation), and I can't say that it went too badly. Rather the opposite. I only got out about 45 minutes late, which isn't too bad considering all I had to do at the last minute. And everything got done.

I'm off this weekend. Think I'll probably take the train into Boston, go to NEAQ, maybe see what's at the IMAX. Maybe I'll go to Wagamama or Pho Pasteur in Cambridge. See if there are any new yaoi manga at Tokyo Kid. Do the kind of stuff I moved down here to do. Other than that, I'll just fart around the house, do laundry, and lurk around eljay.

My computer lives! With a super-slow wireless connection, but it lives just the same. (Edit: Stupid me didn't have the stupid antennas up on the stupid wireless router. Now it's stupid fast! Yay!)
I'm very pleased by this, although bringing it back to life involves a lot of cussing and glaring on my part. I never would have thought it would suck so bad to go without internet for a week and a half, but now that I'm in a new place, with no friends yet, it's about the only socialization I have outside of work.
I'm thinking of finding the local Democrats club and joining them. Would be a good way to meet people. Would also help me get informed for the election. I still am not 100% on who to vote for, although I have my leanings. The truth is I'm not happy with any of the candidates really.
So once again, it's a game of pick who sucks the least.

Back in Berlin for the weekend, collecting some more of my stuff, including The Computer. Life just hasn't been the same without it. I've gone into fanfic withdrawal.

Berlin is just as depressing as it always was, and my mother is just as overbearing. The difference is that this time I'm just visiting.

And I get to see my friend Darci, which is very cool.

Wow. That was one crappy day.
I have come to the conclusion that my new job could take a few pointers from my old job as far as organization, policy and paperwork. I hope this day was just an anomaly and not an indication of how the rest of my tenure here is going to be.
It was my first day doing a med pass, and it did not go awfully well. I got behind, I felt clueless, and I almost made a med error. And I find that all the lovely mountains of paperwork the management has been telling me I must do whenever a sparrow farts goes out the window when the person training me doesn't feel like going through with it.
And at the end of a long 8 hours I walked out witout giving the oncoming nurse report. I just forgot. The oncoming nurse was the one who had been TRAINING me all day long on the same side, so I can't understand why she would need report, but I suppose she had been expecting it. I'm probably going to hear about it tomorrow.

God, it's so nice to be out of Berlin.
I'm definitely going back to visit, I have friends and my mother there. But the fact that I don't have to go back there to live just makes me so happy. It's so dank and depressing and the neighbors were all assholes. There was nothing to do. Opposite of here.
Started the job. It looks like it will be okay. I can't really get a clear idea of how things will go this early into orientation. When I actually start rolling my sleeves up and working, then I'll be able to tell for sure.
I had my first confrontation with my uncle. Then my second. Then my third. By the fourth one I blew my stack. Then he apologized and has been pretty much a peach ever since. I guess I should have done that sooner. We watched the UNH/CC game last night. Fantastic game. Made even more fantastic by the fact that UNH won.
Still don't have my computer. I'm using the library's computer at the moment. Won't have mine till next weekend. I'm going into 9Rose withdrawal. *sob*
Love to all

I'll be offline for about a week while I get myself set up in my new town and start my new job, as I will be computer-less. As well as playstationless and dvdplayerless. I'll probably be too busy to be bored, though. In my spare time, I'm going to work on more 9Rose fics to try and placate the plotbunnies that are nibbling on my frontal lobe.
See you all later!